grips

Rounding off a week to forget by serving the first of my three extras on a Sunday. Quite unhealthy to spend today with nobody but my duty orderly and sergeant whom I don’t know that well. I guess I’ll just try to sleep today away.

Wasting my Sunday on something that could have been totally avoidable (though the punishment per se wasn’t exactly foreseeable) is just another instance of me slowly coming to terms with the fact that the effect of decisions are only all too real – that no one’s ever going to bail me out any more and goodwill’s never ever going to be a given in the people around me. That hearts cannot yield even to sheer force of will or boyish obduracy. Growing up is turning out to be less about what I can do and more about what I can’t.

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