how harry potter characters age

Hermione: like fine wine

Ron: like cheese

Harry: like an extremely rancid cheese (made from an extremely sour cow named Bessie who’d stopped producing milk in liquid form 37 years ago) left in the sweltering sun

Voldemort: like a chunk of plastic or something equally obdurate. I mean, those nostrils went out of fashion like 10 years ago!

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