Okay last night I prayed for God to give me help with authority and my devotional was something about deference, but God must be having a Staff Training Day or something today (or maybe even a SCHOOL HOLIDAY COS WE WON RUGBY WOW YAY) because I ran afoul of authority twice today. This is mathematically improbable and practically impossible. I was booked because I didn’t know you can’t wear the black Team Raffles shirt to school, even on Wednesdays. Everyone wears the black Team Raffles shirt on any day; I just got booked because I was five seconds late. What’s the point of selling a standardised CCA shirt aimed at fostering solidarity if you can’t wear it around?
Then I did some SATs in the library and kinda walked through the library beepy things still carrying my unborrowed SAT books. The library beepy things went “beep” and the Indian librarian gave me a stern lecture that hopefully wasn’t white-slip-related.
Indian librarian (IL): Gimme your ez-link card.
Me: Sorry sorry it was an honest mistake I wasn’t about to borrow them anyway!
IL: Is it your first time? *checks my glittering array of library offences* Hmm… “ate chocolate in library”… okay I’ll give you a warning, next time I’ll give you a white slip.
No matter what Jesus says about washing away our sins once and for all, there are some sins that will always stick with you like swelled leeches. You see, the library discipline system is NEVER cleared. I ate in the library 14 whole months ago but I’ll leave RJ a tainted student, a chocolate-waffling fiend and Enemy of the Library. They bring up my glittering misdemeanours every time I (stupidly) threaten to flout the rules of the library (henceforth known as The Institution). Just the other day:
Me: Hi can I borrow a SAT book? Math Level 2.
Chinese librarian (CL): Okay here it is – woah woah why did you bring food into the library? *points at granola bar sitting prettily atop my pencil case*
Me: Oh um I wasn’t planning to eat it, merely to induce delectation in the mind by staring at it and rubbing the wrapper on my cheeks.
She didn’t buy my excuse, but then again neither did I say that last line. She flipped to my discipline record. “Ate chocolate in library… this isn’t your first time ah! Go out and keep your food before borrowing the book!”
My life is ruined. From now on everywhere I go I’ll be judged by that one transgression, the sole lapse of judgement I’ve experienced in all my years of unqualified wisdom. I dream nightly of walking Kinder Buenos stripping off their metallic veneer to reveal dark melting flesh; they mock me and fade away as I reach out for them. Because I have undermined the authority of the Fellowship of the Librarial Custodians, the pleasures of the world will henceforth be denied to me.