kick some rifle butt

I received this very special letter in the mail yesterday, thus affirming that I am a Singaporean Male. Woohoo! (one can never take these things for granted.

Matthew: Mom! Mom! How come I haven’t gotten my NS notice? Doesn’t everyone get it?
Mom: Actually, son, there’s something we have to tell you…
*embarks on lengthy story of my life which ends with me flying to China to find my true parents*

Matthew: Mom! Mom! How come I haven’t gotten my NS notice? Doesn’t everyone get it?
Mom: Actually, son, there’s something we have to tell you…
*embarks on lengthy story of my life which ends with me discovering why I don’t have a certain body part which all the other boys at school have*

So, yeah. One can’t be too sure.)

Actually, imagine if Harry Potter had been born under slightly different circumstances. The first book would have been written slightly differently.

Dudley: Mom! Harry’s got a letter!
Harry: It’s mine! Don’t snatch it away from me!
Dudley: *snatches it away from him*
*a million letters fly in through the windows, the chimneys, out of Vernon’s toupee, Dudley’s porn stash, the toaster, Harry’s iPhone, etc. Harry gets one and inspects the logo on the envelope*
Harry: What’s this MINDEF thing?
Vernon: No you don’t! We knew you were one of them, but we tried to stamp it out of you!
Hagrid: GIVE HIM THE LETTER, YOU PES F GOOD FOR NOTHING!
Dudley: *whimpers* Papa says I’m not obese, I’m just big boned!
Hagrid: Harry, y – you’re an NSman.
Harry: …knn, all the trouble to get a letter for this?

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3 thoughts on “kick some rifle butt

  1. OMG. Hilarious post. Me likey, haven’t seen a funny post in a while. =/ Haha I can imagine Daniel Radcliffe saying knn =P

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