requiem

there’s something about the promos that casts doubts over the surest of people, the most contented. we ought to have seen it coming a few weeks ago, a small lumbering mass in the distance, swathed in the fog of another country – but now it’s here, we’re in the fog and we’re engulfed in the mass and tmr’s the exam and okay, this i have to say: i thought i had tons of reserve resolve left in me to see off this last battle. i thought i had the willpower (or some semblance of talent) to pull through with gritted teeth and sing “i did it MY WAY~~~” with some energy left over to spare. but okay, okay, my reserves are being spent and stretched taut and an honest appraisal wouldn’t hurt anyone: i am weak, i am weakness, today has been the most demoralising day ever not because i couldn’t, but because i couldn’t bring myself to. i was privy to my own deception! i vegetated limply despite all attempts to insulate myself (despite myself) and conduce some manner of productivity! i tried all ways and means to outsmart my situation and i now know my limits, dusting my wounds gingerly. now, is that respectable or ultimately feeble? no prizes for guessing. night.

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3 thoughts on “requiem

  1. i entirely understand what you mean here. D=

    well let’s just hope we all learn in time for next year, preferably with less hoping and more action!

    here’s to success!

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