I’ve got a wishbone in ma pocket

I have to be very honest and say that the end of Natday celebrations brings with it more relief than any regret/nostalgia. I was never a Hang Around School Looking Purposeful person, if I could go home at 12 and revel in my lack of social life I WOULD~

I would also do these things:

1) Lose Some Weight

Contrary to common wisdom I actually gain weight while feeling stress (Appetite Elasticity of Stress > 0). Staying in school also renders me highly vulnerable to the $2 Green Tea / Chocolate ice-cream. GET THEE BEHIND ME, ICE-CREAM!

2) Get An Imaginary Girlfriend Named Fifi

Now that I actually have some time to myself, I shall pretend I get to spend this time with SOMEONE ELSE – this shall be done by creating a Facebook account called Fifi Foo and getting into a relationship with Matthew Chan (which is my self). People will think I’m extremely cool for having a girlfriend and start Commenting on my wall and Liking my status updates, and I will feel loved.

3) Stop Looking Like Shit

Presumably I don’t look like shit on a normal day, which is why I was deeply alarmed to at my looking like shit in the days building up to the 6th. All this will change in a jiffy! I will put on anti-shit cream and Konstipation Kleanser (which I bought from the mama shop near my house) and eventually look vaguely human. Even if I do look like shit on a normal day, at least I can aspire to be ATAS SHIT, which sits primly at the top of the pile smelling nice.

4) Stop Swearing

Council has made me a very vulgar person. There’re more holes in my temper than in the ‘3 for $10’ socks I bought in China in 2006. This will change once I become Good and Happy once again. Because when I am Good and Happy I’ll mend the holes, singing merry tunes to myself and catching dragonflies with Fifi.

5) Pose In My 10km Bay Run Shirt

I’ll be running 10km next Sunday! Which isn’t the point, because I just signed up to get the shirt. I shall wear it everyday and appear sporty and fitness-conscious. I’ll be running with Rich. Who isn’t Fifi. Fifi can’t run 10km so she’ll be at home cheating on me.

6) Mend Some Bridges

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5 thoughts on “I’ve got a wishbone in ma pocket

  1. Fifi Foo is actually a good name- except for the fact that it sounds like a dog. and reminds me of justin foo. :O

    bridges bridges. over troubled wateerrr

  2. Hahaha this post is funny! 3 for $10 China socks LOL.

    Oh share some anti-shit cream! I think I’ll probably need 3 bottles of that or something.

    Hmm, maybe one day I’ll introduce you to my imaginary girlfriend Jenny! Sometimes she says she will, sometimes she says she won’t. It’s killing me~

  3. hciR: ooh how you know I love that song, have you heard me crooning it in class in the mornings?

    “LIEEEEEEKKKKKKK A BRIDDDDDDGGGGGEEEEEEEE OVVVAAAAAAAARRRRRR -”
    Kevin: “Matthew, SHUT UP!”

    Zhi Ming: I think it was actually 4 for $10 I can’t remember. they’re actually quite hardy okay. ZHONG GUO!!!!!

  4. sial lah. so it’s complicated ain’t the in thing now?! :O oh man i apologize for not adhering to social standards. now i gotta create a facebook profile with emma watson as the profile pic ^^

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