Playing a very rude Shoot Shag Marry where choosing people who are present is permitted:
Wei Te chooses to shag Weixiang TWICE IN A ROW. Third time:
Weixiang: SHOOT ME PLEASE
Ministry Revises Popular Game
Correspondent: Mootimus Chang
SIN – In one of the most massive steps taken by the government since introducing electric toaster imports and, uh, the tax reforms of 1959, the Ministry is on a mission to correct a massively popular children’s game, Shoot Shag Marry.
When interviewed, an extremely important and high-ranking official Rumpel Stiltskin (not his real name) justified this project. “Shoot Shag Marry projects all the ideals we don’t want to see in the students of tomorrow. We don’t want our children to think that shooting someone, for example, is perfectly justified, or that fornication is a perfectly normal and encouraged life function. Marriage is also a weighty life decision and we don’t feel that children should be discussing such significant issues at their present age, using brusque sweeping indicators such as “prettiness” or “sense of humour”. Our children have to grow to understand that marriage, sex and homicide are not matters one can bandy about over a childish game.”
The Ministry intend to rename the game Fondly Hug, Play UNO With, Ask Out For A Movie.
“Our new edition of the game will allow our children to consider and weigh the consequences of their decisions, making an informed decision by considering the strengths and weaknesses of their friends.
“For example, my son Bob decided that he’d rather play UNO with Clarissa, who’s really good at UNO and who has a big house with a nice mother who bakes cookies. He’d choose to ask Simone out for a movie because she’s outgoing and has a discount card for the cinema. Lastly, he’d Fondly Hug Griselda, who is plus-sized and cushy. Playing this game allows my son to make real life choices – choices that he may have to face in his adult life. He is evaluating the traits of his male and female friends and drawing reasonable conclusions as to their ideal roles in his life. Who needs to shoot anyone now, when you could choose to play UNO with him?” Mr Stiltskin concluded with a smug grin.
Reception to this new Ministry initiative has not been optimistic, with 97% of those polled deciding that they’d shoot the Ministry in the balls.