I’m too cool for punctuation

The self-help market is in great demand these days, and today I’ll be rolling out one of the many self-help ideas that I have. Why’s it called self-help when you’re being told what to do?

How to wish someone happy birthday on Facebook:

1. Use an affectionate nickname

2. and/or highly contrived relation to your self

3. Make an affectionately snide ageist comment

4. In passing, casually remark about the one/last experience you had with him/her that lasted more than five minutes

5. Pretend it changed your bloody life

6. Emoticons.

Example:

hi tim-tim! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!1 xD lol u old oready ah, can watch m18 liao, naughty boy ;D primary3 classmates ftw :DD i had a damn gr8 time with u at the movie, i tink it was harry potter n de sorceror’s stone, siala daniel redcliff puberty alr sial ;)

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