she once was a true love of mine~

I think I should be feeling a little scared, some dude just SMSed me today making allusions to “meeting up” and I played along for a bit (“ya lets meet i live in woodlands i veh bored xDxD” etc) until he started probing and I got really, really freaked out and I hope he doesn’t actually turn up at Woodlands and rape someone, because it happens on TV all the time, like Xiao Niang Re. Oh dear I don’t want to get raped, it’s so inconvenient.

And some guy poked me on Facebook and obviously had the same intentions and even though his name is Dexter, I can’t help but feel terribly freaked out.

Matthew Chan: …WAI U POKE ME, NOTHING BETTER TO DO ARH
I FIGHT U DEN U NOE

Dexter Tan: hi hi hi
wanna get to know u
if u dun mind
can reply me wif your name / age / contacts for sms / chats / meet?

In case anyone wants to rape me, I assure you YOU WILL HAVE TO MEET MY FIST (and pepper spray)

To everyone else: there’re better ways of making friends. Anyway, being friendless isn’t the end of the world. I’ve been occupying myself by reading the Bible, I’m reading nine chapters a day and I’ll finish at the end of 121 days – November the 6th~

I also haven’t done anything over the weekend – these days, watching two good vintage movies don’t even count for anything. (Chariots of Fire, The Graduate)

On a sidenote I seem to be the last person on Earth who hasn’t watched Transformers 2. To be honest I think I have a pretty good idea what the plot’s like.

Optimus Prime: I love mankind!
I forgot the Decepticon guy’s name: I hate mankind!!! Let’s just ignore for a moment that I was destroyed in the first movie, cos I’m back for more royalties – whoops, I meant, world-bashing! YARR LET’S FIGHT, OPTIMUS
OP: OKAY

Scene Two.

Shia: Uh, Megan, why’re you dressed in that scanty outfit even though it’s kinda cold and there’s really no reason for you to do so?
Megan: Uh, it was the last thing in my closet, my parkas are all in the wash. Or something.
Shia: Wow, you look tasty – oh btw look, a war’s happening! Let’s go save the world!
Megan: OKAY

Scene Three.

Lots of action. Everyone dies. Optimus Prime dies in the hospital, after a failed bypass operation.

Optimus Prime: I love mankind. And Megan Fox.
Shia: stfu *kills Optimus Prime* Hey Megan let’s get married!
Megan: OKAY

The end.

Please comment if you’d rather watch my five-minute version than the one you’ve watched in the cinema. Please comment, also, if you don’t see a difference.