there’s something wrong when Bella’s the hottest one

Twilight the movie was an eye-opener of sorts. I mean, most bad movies cover up their bad plot and everything else with a posse of hot actors.

Twilight didn’t even TRY. Jessica (one of the various extras in the ensemble of Random Non-Vampiric Schoolmates Who Like To Band Together And Do Healthy Normal Things Like Hang Out At The Beach And Recite Lame Jokes To Bella; not a very effective ensemble, I might say) has a vague hamster-like look on her face, and fat flaily arms. Edward looked normal only from certain angles, a privilege not even afforded to Jacob (I didn’t know werewolves were synonymous with black hippies). The random narration (repeating chunks of Meyer’s masterful narrative) was a cheap way of filling in the gaps between the stilted love-making and action that bored me to sleep – and I think I’ve run out of clever sounding invectives, so I’ll settle for less. Twilight was a SUPER SONIC FAIL, and as much I’d hate to say this, the book was infinitely better.

Twihard? I’m not even Twisoft.

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19 thoughts on “there’s something wrong when Bella’s the hottest one

  1. whats MOAV o.0 master of a vampire? ahaha

    googledefine: Moab ( ; Greek Μωάβ ; Arabic مؤاب, Assyrian Mu’aba, Ma’ba, Ma’ab ; Egyptian Mu’ab) is the historical name for a mountainous strip of land …
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moʾav

  2. I knew it. I knew Twilight the movie would suck.

    Sounds like its worse than Harry Potter though. At least the movie adaptations of Harry Potter aren’t so bad.

    Twilight.. the storyline sounds weak. To me, at least. So, weak storyline.. it would be impossible to make a good movie.

  3. Hi,

    I represent Twisoft Co., concerning your use of our non-trademarked and unregistered name on your weblog (thereafter referred to as a “blog”).

    I have looked over your usage of our company name, and have deemed its use in your “blog” misleading, which may cause confusions in consumers, making it hard for them to select our products.

    A Google query for our name “Twisoft” has shown your “blog” web-site to show up in fourth position, which may magnify the error consumers will face when they are searching for information on our products.

    Our company, Twisoft Co., develops high-quality MSPAINT images for commercial use, and has no affiliations with the book “Twilight” and its deriatives.

    I hereby kindly request you to remove our unregistered company name from your “blog” web-site, or we will hesitate to send a lawyer’s letter.

    Cheers.

    .
    ..

    ((I have no idea why I just wrote that O: ))

  4. Bella wasn’t the hottest one! Or maybe I just have something against her.. She’s ugly (look CLOSELY), can’t act, and was irritating in Into The Wild.

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