be there or be square

There isn’t quite as dangerous a power as the power to escape.

To escape is to place limits on ourselves, to set a non-confrontationalist precedent for future encounters. Sometimes it’s just so easy to want to escape, so tempting to escape whenever you get the chance. I guess that first time it is a thrill. Afterwards it just becomes a routine, and later still it morphs into a compulsion to escape. You become a SLAVE to your ability, because sooner or later your sheer backlog of inexperience of dealing with similar events is just going to catch up with you and then not escaping will become a non-option.

I have no idea how it got to this stage. It started out as an occasional thing, but now we see it happening every other day. You’ve escaped yourself into a hole and you can’t come out. You’ve become nothing more than a shell, even to yourself.

And it is a bitch to mean nothing to yourself.

Someday you’re going to regret the days you stayed home.


8 thoughts on “be there or be square

  1. It is. But I think if it were me, I’d think of it as a weakness rather than an ability and hence be more naturally repulsed to want to remedy it. Did that not sound perfectly odious? Many pardons, I’ve been shuttling between the 21st century and the 19th century as of late. Nevertheless, onward!

    I also hate portfolios, they are spiffookz. Did one including all my certificates of non-school activities and it’s full of the trivial petty triumphs over the years, and all the assorted gah. And I think all you’ve done this year is more than the average student does in 4 years (like me and my CIP) so ha, prizes, felicitations, much phwoarness, etc etc.

  2. My goodness you posted at the same time as me, leaving me the ignominy of DOUBLE-POSTING!

    And you are wrong. I wish to know much more. I won’t pretend it’s for any noble cause, but you can’t blame me for being curious. If the reason behind all these really is as crippling as to force that someone to do what he has been doing, then I rest my case.

    Being vague is HARD work.

  3. yea, when so many people are clued in. looks like my timing is quite spooky. I dunno how to say it, but im not sure if its the real me or the bitch in the me that makes me say: i wonder if this blemish/event/phenomenon/incident/square will be one of the regrets of my life, when i could have done so much more to find out, to engage. (sounded shoij-like again)

    GAH. how i wish, how i wish, and how i fall, how i fall.

  4. for myself, i regret things i didn’t do rather than things i did. i’ve made lots of mistakes, but each time it has taught me something. Still to this day, I wonder what could have been if i’d had some balls growing up. I’m 25 and just discovered I have a pair, they were just lying dormant for my teenage years and early twenties.

    you’ll regret it later if it becomes a habit, try to stomp it out now, and do things you are afraid of doing, will be happier for it.

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