head boys make for good clean down-to-earth fun

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIGEL!!!

Today, as a class, we

  • broke a chair
  • hid it in the stack of chairs at the back I like to think is mine
  • ignored Shanzhi
  • taupoked him after that
  • sat for a math test
  • made the usual Mr Vijay jokes
  • poked fun of R for two disparate occasions and reasons
  • snorted with laughter at yet another chem lesson

We daoed Shanzhi for the first part of the day. Shanzhi sauntered into class, feeling big about himself and expecting some raucous celebration or greeting, but received none. I like to think he got a rude shock, but you see, you can be too big for the school, but you never can be too big for my class.

During recess, we were all walking for recess, with Shanzhi somewhere in front, when R piped up, “Are we still daoing Shanzhi ah?” The whole thing ended abruptly.

And omg I love God because the math CCT was so freaking easy!!!!! I almost feel like I’m in deep love with math, except my love is more of the beat-it-up-and-deny-it-meals-when-pissed variety. Normally called Marriage.

And then I’ll pretend to make out with Chinese just to spite Maths, only to bitch-slap Chinese and leave home and attempt suicide.

I hate my wives. Rifles are much cooler.

On the bus home there was this smallish Caucasian girl at the bus stop who asked me a question about the bus queue and stood behind me. She liked to hum and talk to herself (or maybe she was talking to me. I was pretending I didn’t notice her existence, because THAT IS WHAT SINGAPOREANS DO). And there was this boy in the bus who liked to randomly shriek words and observations while I was trying to sleep while standing.

Like, what’s with small kids being pesky and irritating! I like small kids, but right now we’re in a “you look cute, but if you disturb my sleep I will punch your head in” kind of relationship.

(Happy birthday Shanzhi.)

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