myrrh christmas!

I hadn’t used the computer since the early morning of the 24th, which means I must compulsively clear my backlog of owed information about my life.

With blogs like these, who needs government records?

Stacy’s birthday

(This sounds like a rehash of the other post about me being late, but I assure you that they are TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT EVENTS. Which would vindicate me how?)

I left at 3.30pm since the party was at 4pm, right? I had to take 105 for around twenty stops, and hop over to 73 for another six.

105 arrived at 4pm, and 73 took another twenty five minutes to come.

But it’s okay. I arrived an hour late, bruised (if not physically, in ego). They were all at the playground.

Me: Hi everyone – OW!

I was caught unawares by a monkey bar whilst trying to get a seat.

*everyone laughs*
Me: God, sometimes, I am way too tall for myself.
Geoffrey: You wish.

It hurt a lot, and it STILL DOES.

Oh, and Stacy’s sister must probably have laughed the loudest. Stefi is mean-spirited and disproportionately mischievous, if mildly amusing. I have no idea if she just happens to hate me, or if she has a profound distaste for all other humans.

Me: *attempts to slide down a bar because it looked so tempting*
Stefi: It’ll break under your weight, FATTY!
Me: …WHAT?

When I was ten, I was still busy hiding my face in my MOM, you precocious brat!

Me: Hey, fashionable tears!
Greg: Wha – oh yeah. SUCK IT!!!!

I can almost get the idea behind jeans with fashionable tears, but Greg’s jeans-of-the-day had a large gaping hole where the knee was. Whaat? Why would you pay extra to look like a hobo?

So anyway we went to Stacy’s house, where I discovered the love of my life. Moo-moo was cute, round and fat.

Me: …Wouldn’t I like to milk those udders for you… *flirtatious smile*
Moo-moo: *stares blankly*
Stefi: GIVE BACK MOO-MOO!!!!!!1111
Me: NEVER!

Except that I never actually flirted with Moo-moo, because I was busy making out with it. Greg took some photos of me camwhoring with it. I hope he’s going to upload them any time soon, then I can steal them and post them here.

Truth-or-dare.

Geoffrey: Dare.
Me: Oh, I know! Eat a pinecone! Haha!

Stacy had a basket of pinecones from China.

(Strangely enough, they looked like the Pokemon Pineco. Dastardly pinecones! They stole the idea from Pokemon!


A pinecone


Pineco, the Pokemon)

Geoffrey: Okay. *looks for the smallest pinecone and swallows it*
Everyone: AHHHHH!!!!

Geoffrey had to leave for a gathering, and after dinner, so did Greg (“My mom’s really really pissed. I’m so dead.”). I didn’t feel like going for my own, and I remembered why – no one gives me presents. My mother’s side of the family is really big – she has nine siblings, for goodness’ sake – and I guess somewhere along the way, they collectively agreed to not give presents, or they’ll have to file for bankruptcy. Which is unfair. Why can’t we ever get a number of family friends that affords me the most number of presents, without the presents being too skimpy?

And anyway, I didn’t know how to get to Uncle Patrick’s house, and they don’t really talk to me, except when they Make Small Talk (like when they say I’m growing taller or I’m smart), which doesn’t really count. And some of them still think I’m Sec One or something. They claim to have forgotten how time flies, but I bet they’re really just making a dig at me. ASSWIPES!

But I digress. Stacy, Robyn, Paula decide to make a bonfire, which is apparently an annual tradition. I wish I could do that over at my house, but I think they’d shoot down anyone who’d dare to make a fire in the Botanic Gardens. We went to McDonalds, and then back to Stacy’s house to play Risk.

My family had found their way in the labyrinth of private property to Stacy’s house! I went back home just in time for a new day, and Christmas.

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