perfect prefect nominee

I’ve said this before: Prefect campaigns are interesting.

Come on, there can be no other more enjoyable activity than having model students make a fool of themselves on stage just to win your vote!

Pity, then, that their campaigns are really miserable, most of the time, as Abel and I concurred.

The name puns are the worst. The first posters to be put up was Jonathan Koh, my waterpolo junior. His campaign was K+OH-: Potassium Hydroxide.

Really retarded, no? What the hell does potassium hydroxide have to do with being a good prefect? Other than the fact that you know your chemistry basics? If anything, allusions to and reminders of homework will not do in a campaign, because students will call you a muggertoad and not vote for you.

Then there was Koh Zhi YOU, who wanted to serve “YOU”.

And that’s only the ones I’ve seen so far – some of them haven’t put up the posters yet, it being still early.

There are better ways of selling yourself than punning your name, because that makes you look stupid if not done properly.

And, of course, that got me thinking. What if I were the prefect nominee? And a really lame one who decides to pun his name?

I’ve come up with my own posters, complete with detailed annotation of how a prefect nominee should NOT follow my example. I’ve not been a nominee before, but I am a voter, and that, really, should be all that matters to a nominee, no?

Horrid name puns. Gaudy background color and bad contrast. Bad font.

If I had a fighting chance in the elections, I’d lose it here. This poster is way too wordy, testament of my boringness and lack of a fun spirit. Also, I go on to list my virtues and attributes – a SIN. I mention my GEPness and my high grades and my closeness to the teachers, none of which is going to endear me to the generally-slack and rebellious student populace. I made a lame joke on Anything/Whatever. Lame jokes are oft told in RI, but rarely accepted as intelligent. I made false promises.

My name is rather unpunnable. That was the only pun I could find.

Other than DoorMatt
And Matthodology
And HitmonCHAN
And Mattabolism

And as you can see, it stopped being funny at DoorMatt.


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