Campus Superstar II was way too predictable, but I’m sure it left a bad taste in the mouths of every non-Shawn fan.
Yes, Shawn won, due in no part to his ability, but possibly due to his immense cuteness (bah. He’s not THAT cute).
And we’re all asking this (rhetorical) question here:
How did Shawn become the champion?
Simple! I had sex with the judges after charming them with my SMILE O’ DOOM!
Not that I’m a Benjamin fan, by the way. Laserfingers sucks, too.
Wait. Did you just call me… LASERFINGERS?? Why would anyone do that??
But… Benjamin had an insanely high score from the judges, but Shawn still won overall.
Which, when you bring sex into the picture yet again, means that Benjamin was the one who had sex with the judges. Shawn had sex with everyone else in Singapore.
And… damn! Keely should have won! She was the only good-looking girl out there that night!
WHAT DID YOU SAY? I’m so gonna SHOOT YOU WITH MY GUNPOWDER FINGERS! Filiae Melioris Aevi!
I want to play table tennis.
I found many bats in some random corner of my room. Balls can be easily gotten.
Now all I need are:
1) A table tennis table
2) An always-available playing partner (who will consent to live under the table tennis table for the rest of his/her life, only to emerge when I wish to play) who worships me and therefore will purposely lose to me at certain times, complimenting me all the while
Damn. That’s kinda hard.
I mean, how the heck am I supposed to get a table tennis table???