get a grip, get over it.

A feature on CSS2

Marcus went out of Campus Superstar II. I’m sure he’s really sad and all.

But seriously, the fans are being stupid and perfect assholes.

“CAMPUS SUPERSTAR IS OBVIOUSLY A COMPETITION THAT IS NOT BASED ON MERIT AND THUS WE SHOULD ALL STOP SUPPORTING THAT BLOODY COMPETITION! WASTE OF TIME ONLY! WHAT THE HELL! HIGHEST IN THE NIGHT GOT KICKED OUT! WHAT THE HELL! EVEN THAT USELESS NERD GOT IN! AND THAT LITTLE KID WHO SHOULD BE KICKED TO KINDERGARTEN! WTF!”

I know that Marcus was the best. Because the other two are so lame.

Firstly,


Hi guys! I rock, and you’re ALL LOSERS! LOSERS!

When someone looks younger than mooty, you know he really shouldn’t be taken seriously. The efforts to make him look cool and pubescent haven’t been going really well, because he’s busy hamming it up with his “cute” smiles that just make everyone want to Carebear-hug him.

Also,


Watch me shoot laser guns at you, noobs!

This guy has an irritating face.


I’m gonna do the thumbs up while smiling at you, and you’re going to be SO mollified that you’ll vote for me. Yeeha!

Of course, I think this guy has an even more irritating face, but never mind.

Anyway, I digress. The main point was about how fans JUST DON’T GET IT.

The Rafflesians, especially the waterpolo boys (since the school mostly doesn’t give a damn), have been seriously aggrieved at how Marcus managed to get out, since he had the highest judges score. Now, they appear to be disillusioned with the scoring system, claiming that “CSS2 IS ONLY A COMPETITION OF WHO IS MORE POPULAR! NOT WHO SINGS THE BEST! BOYCOTT CSS2!!!!1111”

My only response is:

No shit, Sherlock!

I mean, like, NONONONO, this totally wasn’t a popularity contest. The judges totally had FULL control of the fates of the candidates, with 30% of the score decided by them.

The fact is that, Marcus has already gotten very very very lucky by reaching thus far. He did not top the scores EVERY SINGLE NIGHT what. But he still managed to survive till the top three. He was Rafflesian – in other words, he was on the number one Hate List of half the country. He had to compete with a cute boy who charmed with his toothy grins, and various nerdy dudes trying to pretend that they were, in fact, fully capable of shooting laser beams out of their index fingers.

Marcus didn’t get this far because he sang well.

He was popular, too.

I mean, I bet the true best singer in Singapore was probably short, fat and ugly, so s/he was kicked out in the auditions stages. No one cares about a good singer if s/he’s ugly. No one would vote for them, for one. (to put it crudely) People who used the show as wank material would have no reason to do that anymore. Viewership ratings would drop, and CSS2 would have to close down faster than a block of UNSW Asia campuses.

So that’s that. I’m just going to end with one last picture.


My mummy said doing this would increase my sex appeal by 20%, so I’m going to give it a try, while smiling my best bashful-Vietnamese-virgin smile.

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