saga

Get over my wardrobe malfunction already!

Really. It’s not like I chose to drop my skirt in the middle of a very high-pitched and slutty song like a shameless ho.

The skirt couldn’t zip up. I spent half of intermission trying to get it up but it was painfully stuck, so we decided to use Jonathan’s RI badge to pin it up, like a mentally retarded kid on diapers. So it worked fine, but the badge came loose or whatever.

I can’t overstate how much courage (or tendency to be constantly underwhelmed by things) it took to crossdress, and subsequently get over a wardrobe malfunction in the middle of a play with parents and news crew and students and random people.

On the other hand, skirt jokes are highly entertaining. I think I’ve heard most of the funny ones already, but, oh, surprise me.

nuance

Innuendo rules our lives.

It gets irritating at times. It’s like,

Me: OMG, this is so hard!
Person stares at me pointedly.

Me: Come here!
Person: HAHAHAHAHA, come!!!

Me: Stop screwing around now!
Person makes sexual grunts.

Me: Why is it so hard for me to make you to stop screwing around and to come here?!
Person stares at me pointedly, makes sexual grunts and starts bursting into laughter in no particular order.

Childish poopooheads.

stupid skirt puns

This is one of those days. You think you’ve just about done EVERYTHING on stage, but something happens to prove you wrong.

But it’s okay. Everything underwhelms me these days. Besides, the crowd loved it.

Skirt the issue, skirt the issue, skirt the issue
–

On the other hand I liked the torture scene so much, especially Conan’s gigantic armchair cushion. Yes, the scene was lifted from Monty Python, but it was hilarious anyway.

spring chicken!

The time of the year almost as bad as the weeks before the exam are the weeks AFTER the exam.

It’s like, all we do is watch random movies in class these days. Totally pointless days in school. I mean, they should just let us stay at home and watch random movies and TV in our own time! Or start school at 9am, at the very least. I hate having to wake up at 6am when I know that school is meaningless anyway.

But there was spring cleaning today, which was kinda fun, since we flooded the classroom with pails of water and got mildly wet. Getting wet is the same in rain or in classroom – after awhile, you stop bothering about wetting your clothes.

3K worked great together with our highly participative form teacher, and made this spring cleaning a success!

A legacy for how long it takes to evaporate.

Also, Lit RA night beckons.
–

m. lisa

she was scouted by a few effeminate men in berets.
they took her away and paid her two thousand dollars,
and pasted her face on conspicuous blinking billboards.
they say she’s beauty incarnate,
a benchmark for husbands to judge their wives by,
though if you examine it closely
her face was only ever made of canvas.

leading by example questions

teddy cows: drophead says:
hey bring rag tmr for springcleaning says shan zhi
puerile senseless lacewing says:
never
teddy cows: drophead says:
Lol
moot as usual
puerile senseless lacewing says:
I’ll just walk around hurrying the class
typical managerial behaviour!

I’ve been considering lofty job options of late, but being a manager wouldn’t be too bad.

infamy

A girl in my cell group happened to see me performing yesterday, so now half the cell knows.

Not good, Matthew. Not good at all.
–

It’s a week to the end of school!

I think there’s an SL fair Jonathan and I have to prepare for in four days’ time. We haven’t started, but nothing can ruin my Good Spirits Due To Impending End Of Term! Also, I turn 15 in one month (minus four days)’s time, and I’m growing taller, and I’m a PSL!

It’s really easy to keep yourself from being emo. Even crossdressing doesn’t bother me anymore.

Literally Literary (hereon referred to as LitRA Night, which was its working title and infinitely less tongue-twisterish), could not have been held on a worse time! It’s the night before Chinese ‘O’ levels, which kind of rules out the Sec 4 IP students and Sec 3s from other schools =( C’mon! You can get to see the three LitRA plays plus a few random hilarious sketches! It’ll be FUN!

whore for the audience: the aftermath

Okay, so it wasn’t that bad after all.

I mean, it wasn’t as if we didn’t expect the audience to laugh like crazy at us, the Merry Band of Crossdressers!

And Jonathan (Cordelia)’s outfit was really… wow.

I hadn’t actually seen him wear it before the performance! Just yesterday he was still fretting over getting a decent costume, then last night he was upbeat and saying he got a cool pink costume.

But it still looked really weird.

But with an actual outfit, he turned from being overtly extra (in rehearsals) to the guy who got the laughs!

I’d hate to say it, but it was a really bad performance by our standards, and only the easily-amused audience made us pull this off. The energy level had hit a low because we were all fretting about it before that, and I was feeling quite stoned on the “hot seat” (I was supposed to interact more with the other contestants, see).

And… yes, girls think crossdressing Rafflesian boys are funny. It’s kind of freaky.

–
jing xiao says:
were u tt girl today?
puerile senseless lacewing says:
yeah
jing xiao says:
HAHA

Crossdressing in Lit Sem is also the best way to get in touch with long-forgotten primary school friends from RGS.

Random Sec 2 RI student at busstop: Hey are you Sec 2 or Sec 3?
Me: Sec 3.
RS2RSAB: You played the girl just now right?
Me: Yeah.
RS2RSAB: *sniggers*

It is also a grand way to gain respect from your juniors.
–

The rest of Lit Sem was boring. I chose a Film Critique workshop which was boring. I meant to sign up for a film-making workshop, since I obviously didn’t want to critic films. (I’d much rather be a food critic. Mmm…)

Talking about food, Greg’s Souffle happened to be staged just before ours! It was as good as the other day, because some jokes never get old, especially political jokes and gay Frenchmen.

The first play, done by our Sec Twos (2A I believe), wasn’t really good. I couldn’t hear them through their accents (intentional or otherwise), and the only thing remotely funny about them was the long-Indian-name joke, which got old reeeeeally fast. Then, for some reason they decided to get random extras from their class on stage to dance at the end, which was weird. Our MOV at Lit Sem last year was so much better! How could they be the best play in the level!

King Lee was funny as always, but they were too soft. And not everyone got the political jokes. To us, we found ‘Gonerlee’ and ‘Leegan’ funny names because we know the original names, but the audience hadn’t read King Lear before.

whore for the audience

Bah.

pre-sem jitters

Pre-post advertisement
Hi kids! Lit RA is putting up a night of plays and random sketches on Tuesday night, including the award-winning Deader than Fiction, which yours truly is participating in! TICKETS ARE FREE, and you know that when there is an opportunity to see ME in a skirt and generally being a slut on stage, you just have to grab it. Grab the opportunity, I mean, not the skirt, because that would be totally sick.

–
Lit Sem is tomorrow! *screams*

For some reason I’m also going to Rafflesian Spotlight tonight, since my class has four prefects and I couldn’t stand the endless touting. These days, the Rafflesian Spotlight ticket is like a Flag Day sticker: you have one, the prefects back off and go look for other targets to advertise.

Also, my GPA is out! Since I’m a respectable Rafflesian, I shall emo over my abysmal showings for this year!

English – 3.6 (77%)
Expected. I screwed up a few stuff. Fourth highest in class – could have been better but I’ll settle for this.

Chinese – 3.2 (68%?)
An improvement, an improvement! My (relatively) good Chinese EOY and my better grades this time round pulled this up a grade. Not enough for a 3.6 – but that would have taken a miracle, since I nearly failed Chinese last semester.

Math (x2) – 2.8 (62%)
My EOY did me no favours, but I was nowhere near a 3.2 in any case.

SS – 3.6 (72%?)
A 3.6 is okay, I guess. At the start of the year, everyone thought SS was an easy 4.0 to get, but only one guy in my class got it.

History – 3.6 (70%!)
Haha! It’s so nice to scrape a grade. I screwed up the EOY and was totally expecting 3.2 for this!

Lit* – 3.6 (79%)
NOT SO NICE, THOUGH, TO BE ONE MARK SHORT OF THE NEXT GRADE. Especially for Lit! Still, a 3.6 is still a respectable grade for an RA subject, except that I COULD JUST HAVE MADE THAT 4.0.

Chem – 3.6 (79%)
ARGH. I haven’t really been trying hard for Chem except for the EOYs, so the high grades were a pleasant surprise – but I was still one mark away from a 4.0. It’s still a really good grade though, since I actually failed the previous CCT because I didn’t study well.

Physics – 2.8 (62%?)
I haven’t been getting Physics concepts this year, especially the non-math parts of it (yes, I know I’m a slut for being relatively good at math).

Overall GPA – 3.29

An improvement from last semester (3.11), yes, but still a really miserable grade, especially since the guy sitting next to me named Jarrell got 3.84. The thing that really bugs me is the fact that I’ve got NO 4.0s this year, unlike probably 60% of the cohort.

I HATE GETTING 79 MARKS, AND I REALLY HAVE TO BECOME A BETTER MUGGER NEXT YEAR.

Why is maths double-weightage anyway?
–

I hate the GPA system.

It’s like, if you get 69, you’re lots worse than someone who got a 70; if you get 40, you’re much better than someone who got 39.

We should have a fairer aggregate score thingy that actually takes every mark into account!

Telcos and carparks are all coming up with per-second billing rates, since per-minute billing is way too unfair. Why can’t schools do the same?

spite!

We finished rehearsal at 7+ today, and I was walking toward Bishan MRT.

Then I got trapped by Those Shifty And Scary People.

You know them. They come in all shapes and sizes, but they have the same agenda – sell cheapskate pens to you for grossly exorbitant prices!

So, some guy went up to me and said “Hello” in a cheery, optimistic, I-want-to-scam-you-of-two-bucks tone, which obviously gave the game away, so I tried to do Epic Evade, with a surly Get-The-Hell-Out facial expression.

He was undeterred, and started rambling on and on about his cause, and then SUDDENLY, HE PULLED OUT A BALLPOINT-PEN-IN-CHEAP-PLASTIC-WRAPPING FROM HIS BACK POCKET. I sidestepped him and muttered something about going home. He slid the pen back into his pocket.

Instead, I decided to go to 7-11 to get a Vitasoy. So I went out and he approached me AGAIN, for a final showdown.

Dangerous Pen Vendor: Hello.
Me: Hello.

And then he tried to shake my hand for no good reason.

DPV: Basically I’m from an anti-drugs organisation blah-blah. You don’t take drugs right?

I shake my head noncommittally and tiredly, as if trying to imply “Get the F*** Out of my elite, uncaring face” without actually SAYING it – but he looks pleased, and shakes my hand for no good reason AGAIN. And then he whisks out his dangerous Ballpoint-Pen-In-Cheap-Plastic-Wrapping, which immediately got me scared and apprehensive once again.

DPV: Nuh, for you, free one.
Me: Uh, no thanks.
DPV: Really, free one, don’t need to pay money.
Me: No thanks. I gtg now.
DPV: Huh? Free also don’t want? *attempts wry, puzzled look*

At this point I walk away – and am caught by a female Dangerous Pen Vendor this time, but she decides not to Strike Up A Friendly Conversation With Unsuspecting RI Student In Order To Sell Him A Pen, and after my initial refusal to donate, she simply walks away.

Who told you MRT stations were safe?
–

Oh yes, I’m a PSL now! Long story, and I shall spare you the details.

Read ESPLANADE CHEE NOW. (and BOB POTTER, if you haven’t already. I love it.)