hellish homage to homework

replied:
zhiming: NO IT WASN’T. Try handling a class of hyper kindy kids who think you’re their FRIEND and that they can BOUNCE AROUND ON YOUR LAP. =(
geoff: Go away! And jerseys > shirts, even if it is unoriginal.
charm!: Haha wouldn’t skirts be more airy? Ok forget I said that.
anon: They are spiffier than RI pants!
pizzat: Okay… can’t remember things like that!
brent: I skip because I have IMPORTANT PROJECT MEETINGS, unlike YOU! Pfft.
lynette: You can seduce Michael to give his to you! =D

Yay! I have been playing Pokemon again! This has been sparked by the school Youth Day competition that will be held next Wednesday. Wouldn’t have worked so hard if I didn’t feel I had a great chance of winning this. Apparently Jon Lim is a favourite because he has three level 100s! NO, level 100s aren’t anything. I can clone Rare Candies and get there in half an hour (and I will. Time is better spent on homework and breeding and training my Pokemon to rape em’ all!) Haha. With the advice and mentorship of Abel the Great, I shall winnnnnnnnnn!!!!

Ta. More later.

I will survive!

Yes I got my shorts today! (and got a little late for Drama of History, though they were still having lunch anyway) I shall be wearing them to school EVERY DAY!!!!!!!! Haha. There’s just something in shorts that smacks of freedom! FLY!!

And thus I lost yet another day to DoH! It’s sapping up my gaming time, but I suppose it gives me a slight sense of achievement. I’d be staying at home TRYING to do chinese homework anyway, so there’s no difference.

Can’t wait for the class jersey to come out, then “Mooty” will be immortalized! (with his very interesting number. You’ll see.)

I’m REALLY REALLY broke. Pastamania yesterday lunch and Yoshinoya today dinner = close to $20 already. Shitz. I still want to

-watch movies (Transformers, Harry Potter OotP)
-get Deathly Hallows
-get Watchman, the graphic novel
-add to my savings

So it’s really impossible unless I kidnap Mr Bob Koh and take over his very cushy job. <– JOKE, I DID NOT MEAN THIS. Have been hearing from random schoolmates that teachers were apparently instructed not to give homework. What? WHAT? Oh, I’ve just reflected upon the pointless RI teaching system. It goes so bloody fast that we end up not learning anything. SRSLY. We doddle through maths lessons, until two days before a maths test (which is quite often). Yes, the next two days in class would be hellish mugging. We scrape through the test, pass, get full marks, or something near. We go on to next topic. Forget about everything I’ve learnt the previous topic. I don’t know about other people, because that’s how I’m learning my maths. I’ll die in EOYs. I don’t think even lucky me would pass the log test next week. I haven’t been listening in class, and worse yet: don’t understand anything of it.

I AM GOING TO WATCH SINGAPORE VS AUSTRALIA WITH MY CLASSMATES TOMORROW! Yes yes yes my weekend can yet be saved. I shall also try to catch Transformers, which seems to be the hot movie of the week.

I will survive, together with the help of my spiffy RI shorts.

busy crap

Staff training day number two!

Staff training day number one was quite crappy. I spent the whole day from 10am to 9pm at BISHAN, having chem makeup lesson (in which I didn’t listen at all and tasted the distilled water in the lab, which doesn’t really taste distilled), doing Drama of History props and acting and everything menial, and having dinner with History people. Today looks to be the same, safe for chem makeup lesson.

The only fun thing about yesterday was that we had the whole LT to ourselves! I invented a new sport: jumping around on every single LT chair and timing yourself! I shall call it ’sport chair-jumping’, yo! I got tired after awhile, takes a lot out of you, having to lift your thighs every step! (and I nearly tripped few times cos I was in my socks)

So anyway I’ve decided to join the Pokemon competition in school! I think I have a fine chance of winning, seeing as I’m one of at most three people in the competition who knows anything about tactical battling and breeding and being pro (=D).

Yay I’m off to school now, going to get a pair of RI shorts on the way! Haha. I shall wear shorts for the large of the school year. Shorts are delightfully comfy to wear! No need belt and all that crap, and it makes you more flexible too. And I can go around masquerading as a Sec 1 and acting stupid.

Ta! School neutralises me and makes me gay, so that’s kind of good. Goodbye, cellulite emotional baggage!

where is the love!

Psalm 91

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

I just posted an hour ago (so go check that out!). YES I have lots of time on my hands and was randomly blogsurfing everywhere. Then I came to my friend’s blog.

Whats more, it doesn’t seem so much of an accident anymore. He missed assembly, and according to Yi Da’s statement, he was sitting on the ledge of the 5th floor. Alone.

Oh shit. I know I’m not supposed to speculate, because I have to listen to and agree with the every word and opinion of the eminent head of our school Mr Bob Koh, but as a student I will naturally make some obvious inferences and have my own opinion regarding incident.

Suicide.

(but I would not mind to be proven wrong on this count.)

sleep, school and sex

TAG REPLIES
zhiming: Gunbound is really quite a nice game. But I have lost all interest in games over the life-changing June holidays. Okay, maybe the occasional Mario on my DS!
geoff: Oh yeah I remember you bought two the first issue right? Haha go you, philanthropist! (omg I typed ‘philanderer’ at first but thought it didn’t sound right. But philanderer sounds just like you!)
lisa: No lah very few people went. Yes it was fun and yes RT is bad. I would take a less active role if I weren’t an exco member, frankly. I shirk responsibility of all sort! Heh heh.
hubert: Yes! I’m feeling burned out. But it’s okay. RI gets a five-day weekend this week! HAHAHA NO SCHOOL TMR
nigel: NIGEL!!!!!!1111 I like bullying people and draining the self-esteem out of them!
geoff: Yes he has an LJ and I linked him.
—–

Was really tired and lazy yesternight (after a cool but tiring Drama of History rehearsal), so fell asleep at sofa at around 7+. Never really woke up until 6am the next morning. YES WIN I DIDN’T DO ANY WORK (though I managed to catch on to the class activity of the day: copying Chem assignment; in so doing saving my ass).

Drama of History is super fun! We gotta perform to some judges on Monday YOUTH DAY PFFT where is my 5-day weekend! (more about my busy schedule later) But I got a bit-part role as a student who is super sarcastic and likes to jack the teacher. WOOT that’s so in my character.

So anyway, yesterday I got back my English summary test and topped my class! *ten seconds of applause* Yes, and I promptly got raped after class. HEY so unfair if it was someone else who topped the class he wouldn’t have gotten RAPED. Hah. Hopefully this mark (28/35, a round 4.0!) will make up for my abysmal just-pass in ERP!

Oh, anyway I forgot to mention how bad my Physics teacher is. He looks like a paedophile, and has weird rules. Like he won’t allow people to go to the toilet if too many people have gone previously. Wtf that’s like so primary school. As if we have weird obsessions with toilets or something! And if we don’t hand in homework, we have to give him our EZ-LINK CARD and STAY BACK until we finish the said homework and retrieve our pass. He reminds me of a) LAN shop or b) MRT station. Ok, and he is really boring and does not maximise use of worksheets and slideshows. Slideshows are mainly IT versions of worksheets, vice versa.

I figured that I have approximately ten different kinds of laughter, each weirder than the next. See, I’m cool!

Learnt the Cup Game through Jon. Haha, CAP is already one month past! But at least if I return in ‘09, I can pass on the tradition.

Okay. Today was Wednesday – kindergarten day! (see, Jon and I picked a service learning project to teach theatre to kindergarten kids) It was chaos and lots of sexual innuendo, though I would be worried if the kids saw the innuendo in it all. We were playing Chinese Whispers – something like Broken Telephone yes? Jon’s message to the first guy was something like “The rabbit is bigger and fatter than the hamster.” Something NORMAL, right?

When it came to the end, the message became:

The rabbit is in the hamster.

IN the hamster.

I WAS LAUGHING LIKE CRAZY. Yes. There used to be a time when I would be giggling at the stupid mistake(s) in passing on message. That time is long past. I now see sexual innuendo in everything, to comic effect.

So, there was this girl with a skirt. She was playing around with her skirt. I was sitting down. She put her skirt on my pants.

Then the girls decided to sit on our laps, taking turns to bob up and down and jabbing their bony butts into our thighs.

Not fun, friends, not fun! You sick perverts! See, they’re super lucky we weren’t uneducated 40-year-old uncles from China, because if we were, they’d all have been lying unconscious on the floor when the lesson ended. With blood everywhere.

And NO, I’m not thinking about sex now. I’m thinking about how those kids can be persuaded to act (since they’re all shy) and how Jon and I can rush the RE report by Monday and what Michael Corbidge taught us during CAP Drama workshop. I remember some activities he taught us, but most of these wouldn’t be understood by six-year-old noobs who think they can bounce around on teachers they barely know.

My five-day weekend for all to see and laugh
Thursday: 10am – Chem makeup lesson till like 11am. 2pm – Drama of History rehearsal. TENTATIVE – Transformers movie (with History/Lit RA people?)
Friday: Afternoon – Drama of History rehearsal? 2.30pm – Waterpolo (ah well, have to skip that. Wow I loved training today since we played a match and there was no swimming)
Saturday: Evening – class outing – off to National Stadium to catch Sing vs Aus!
Sunday: Church
Monday: Drama of History Rehearsal at the location itself, liek omgwtf. Next Friday is the performance! I think we might win due to Jon’s expertise!

I think I shall not do any work today! Whee!

rafflesian times

Got assigned by Gerald to edit some RT articles, which I took up happily enough, happy to be given a responsibility (which means that I will MOST probably not get sacked! Whee for holding on to my exco position!).

The job turned out to be really pukey and traumatising.

You see, there’re some people in RI that can write.

And there’re some who really can’t. REALLY REALLY HAVE NO GRAMMAR SENSE. OR LOGIC. Or when they have some semblance of a vocabulary, they try to flaunt it everywhere by inserting bombastic words where they think the words belong.

Sheesh. (this may sound bad, but I’m feeling better about my writing skills, at the expense of others.) I wish I could quote some really funny articles but I don’t want to bruise any fragile inflated Rafflesian egos so I shall give you a forced insincere smile and giggle.

Editing is one hell of a job. I had to edit more than 10% of almost every article, for grammar, spelling and LOGIC and wayward sarcasm. Then I spent time laughing at articles with Pek on MSN. Which was quite therapeutic and comic.

Ok I stayed up late to do some pointless merit CCA assignment. I shall end this second post of the day with a

BOOOOOOOOOOO RAFFLESIAN TIMES IS GOING TO THE DOGS BOOOOOOOOOO US NO ONE WILL BUY THIS LOAD OF RUBBISH FOR FIFTY CENTS BOOOOOOOOOOO

(I’ll probably get sacked if someone reads this! But raise your hand those that don’t agree with me, fellow RT colleagues!)

schoolday

Back to school! I shall post random disjoint facts about school.

We have a new deputy headmaster, like omgwtf. How many do we have now huh? And I hardly see any of them except at SPORTS FINALS or ORA JOGATHONS. They earn their money doing that! But apparently some deputy headmaster left, so he got replaced. Okay… Shan’t insinuate anything about how they seem useless.

Then I went to class and there was an F-word on my table. SHEESH. So I changed it with Hrishikesh’s table. Then I realised that Hrishikesh went back to India already (he’s one of the two Indian scholars!) so my foolhardy action went unnoticed.

First lesson was maths! (managed to copy maths assignment off someone, yay me) It was kinda sorta maybe DEFINITELY boring, since it was still LOGARITHMS. I got 8/12 for maths test, which is a passing mark, and is thus quite satisfactory, haha… Then in the middle of his lesson Mr Vijay (which I shall refer to affectionately as King Vijay the Third from now on) was talking about some boring thing and I went like “So lame!” And OMG everyone heard me and King Vijay the Third made me go up to the board and do something I didn’t know how to do! Lawl. I was a bad boy! (and I shall try to internalize my emotions from now on) And I shan’t be mean to King Vijay the Third anymore, since it’s not his fault he’s so uninteresting, right?

Then, um… English. Sagar relates the story of Hrishi having left the class/school/country. Ms Kuang asks Sagar to tell her if anyone bullies him. Then he says, “Mooty” and everyone laughs. HEY!!!!1111 That’s not fair! I’m a nice and courteous student! Like whatever! PFFFT. Everybody HATES me!!!!!111111 (like Geoffrey calling me a girl and all!)

And we have a new Physics teacher! Highly dramatic, since our old teacher was the best we ever had (yes you Mr Liu! [rhyme]). But the new teacher was… *sound of deflated air* He did characteristically boring stuff when he came in, like writing his name “Mr NG” on the whiteboard and commenting that the class was dirty. And he was highly boring. Bleh, another lesson for me to sleep in. Just that it’s rather sad that all our good teachers either get pregnant or get… out.

School now seems to me an otiose undertaking. I think CAP did that, and some other confused emotions, yes. I think I shall pray that everything be alright and that school soon numbs me from my all-too-emotional feelings that feel like love (but are most probably not).

An RJC triathlete died after a triathlon. An RI student in my batch fell off the second floor of the SR block today. May God bless them.

[damn feel like downloading songs after a year of inactivity, but suddenly have a phobia of police raids! Oh conscience stop bugging me! Bah.]

last post of the holidays (or not)

Today is one of those rabid posting days.

I can almost smell the dread on my MSN contact list!

School is starting tomorrow! It’s sexy and fun! And ‘in’! And cool! In fact, everyone would love it if it didn’t have the teachers. And homework. And lessons.

We could just go for recess the whole day! (and PE.)

Just realised that most of the holiday homework is not due tomorrow! Which means that I get to survive for about one more week. And the end of the first week sees a whopping four (or five, can’t remember) day weekend! JOY! (though the weekend will be utterly consumed doing useless stuff like studying and homework)

Okay, Matthew. Gird your loins! (oh crap, now I’m talking to myself) I think Thursday commences the weekend – (the time will be spent grooming our teachers, who rarely seem to improve after those upgrading courses they go for). So I only have THREE days to suffer! Bwahahah

Oh wait.

Friendly yahoogroup class chat
Beng: Mr . Vetuz will give a makeup lesson on Thurs, 8am-9am so you cannot escape.
Burg: Make up lesson my ass i’m sure i duwwan go school one hour, i go back and forth already need 2 hours. Piang eh who needs make up lessons zzz
Beng: Not my prob…anyway I have chem DMP so it is ok.
Matthew: Shuttup fool! I don’t have. I wanna stay home and slack (and do undone hw). Every teacher will want a makeup lesson, holding it after school or on the holiday itself, then what would be the fscking point of the holiday??
Beng: ok, ok, I apologise. I shall quietly withdraw from this argument.
Sean: hahahaha i got training so i cannot go.
Daniel: i got lit workshop
Matthew: I’ve got… an early morning bout of constipation on that day! (don’t ask me how I know, it’s just GONNA HAPPEN)

I’ve got one word of encouragement for everyone: Believe in the powers of your bowels! *cue tumultuous applause and many people shouting my name*

I have made up my mind: I shall sleep at 10pm tonight! To make up for the 1am nights in like the whole of past week. Sleep is nice.

Crapppp haven’t done anything for CAP mentorship portfolio in the past two days. Two stories down, four to go! (frankly I’m really pleased by the two stories. I just need four more of the same quality and I will win!!!!!!1111111oneoneone)

And now some keywords to get this blog spotted and have a larger teenage readership:

sex sex sex
violence violence violence
gay
lesbian
hot chick
free porn
paris hilton
120 days of sodom
daniel radcliffe nude pics
rupert grint fan club
harry potter hentai
xiaxue
halo 3
gore
mmorpg
sex sex sex
violence violence violence

Look who’s alone now, it’s not me, it’s not me
Those three wise men, they’ve got a semi by the sea
Gotta ask yourself the question, “Where are you now?”
Gotta ask yourself the question, “Where are you now?”
*nice 30 second instrumental*

And I like you!

metamorphose, little wizards!

Aww… so cute.

Ignore Neville (who looks the most retarded of them all and therefore has had his FACE BLOTTED OUT in a mysterious MS Paint accident). But what happened to the rest! They are like ugly and uncute (except Emma Watson HAHA).

Carry on like this, guys, and Harry’ll look like a Basilisk by the seventh movie! See, he’ll be at least 20 by then.

Rupert’s double-eyelids are freaky.

I ought to write a fanfic exploring the Harry-Voldy pairing! HARRYMORT! They can make love in a flurry of hisses and rasps.

Oh wait.

They’re Tom and Harry.

They just need a Dick between them.

ROWLING DID IT ON PURPOSE!

one ri boy needs love

Woke up at 10.30am today. Wow not bad I got 9 hours of sleep! Late for church anyhow. Woke up to find my cousin and her baby here. Her baby was born at the start of the year, so he’s about fourteen years younger than me! (and I’m sort of like an uncle. Cousin-uncle? Yay! Nuncle = me!) Learnt how to carry a baby. He’s really fat, but I guess that’s like an attractive baby, unlike the connotation fat has in teenage life! (and he’s gross and salivary, and even threatened my c—– with his feet at times! Naughty lowdown baby!)

Oh I checked this cousin chart, and apparently we are first cousins once removed! Eh that sucks, it says nothing about me being an ELDER or UNCLE of sorts. Pish tosh. And I’ll never get the first cousin second cousin once/twice removed thing. So complicated.

Sigh. Teenage life is lame.

Back to bondage tomorrow, this time with lots and lots of emotional baggage AND undone homework. Oh, here are some weird analogies I came up with (feeling bored and strangely detached from sanity):

Homework is like castration: it makes you lose the will to live.
Love is like constipation: It’s hard to get things out of you!

Yes. You may use my analogies in your essays without credit, though I take no responsibility for outcome.

Listened to James Blunt after a long period of time. I like his songs! They’re high-pitched and cool. At least it’s something different lah. (they’re synthesised right??) Looping Wisemen till the end of time! I don’t really understand the song, but the music and voice is good. Haha. SHALLOW MUSIC LOVER –> ME <– SHALLOW MUSIC LOVER My favourite JB songs are Billy and Wisemen! (a crowd-follower, I am not!)

Oh and I was poring over my statcounter stats. Yes I’m insecure and need to know who my friends are! But statcounter is really leet. Its easier to navigate than Google A, albeit less professional-looking. Anyway I realised that I had unknown referrers! I tracked down this blog which belongs to a Benjamin Aw, which I think I remember from 2Q06 (but don’t really know.)? I was linked under “Quite an interesting blog”. Aww… I know that already, but thanks for reminding me dude! :)

Statcounter rocks.