today i planned to blog about Lit RA-getting. if i had gotten it, i would have started my post with “yay! i rock!” if i hadn’t, “nvm. it wasn’t meant to be mine. :((((((“

so this is a pre-empting for tomorrow’s post.

but i shall talk about irritating people.

the first group are those amateur photographers slinking around orchard road.

i was on my way to the clinic for med checkup when i saw this guy with a camera. he was snapping away at three ladies walking. no, not those kind of ladies. i mean three slightly plump but looking well-off ladies who were talking to each other.

he was snapping openly right in front of them.

not that this is as bad as blatant cameraphoning (cameraphones seem more offensive for some reason. the very act of somebody pointing the back of his phone at you causes great irritation.)

so i was thanking my, um, “lucky stars” that i hadn’t been snapped at, when i turned back and saw that guy crouching and pointing his camera in my direction.

aw man. what can a caption for someone like me be? “The elite” or something? (since i was in uniform) then he’ll post it on Stomp and everyone will start discussing why special privileges are accorded to RI boys, like scholarships, and they will find ways how we don’t deserve those privileges and MOE will make RI a government school and the world will end.

[it is my habit to construct slippery slope arguments. fun.]

then again, the three fat ladies photo can be either named “Tai-tais” or, hmm, “Three Fat Ladies”. Art can do anything.

the second group of people are called Smokers.

referring to the said road again, i was walking, minding my own business, when i smelled something bad. and it smelled a few times as bad. one smoker i can’t stand, but >1 smoker is hell. then 4 people walked by. 3 of them were smoking and one of them was waving his cigaratte around.

i mean, the thing about computer addiction and stuff may not be so clear cut, but the trouble with smoking – an ultra stinky mouth – can be easily spotted. and smoking makes people in public hate you.

i think they should put those “This amount of tar is in your body after smoking for one year” signs on the road again. they have disappeared from most roads.

i haven’t been posting. i can hear some fans baying for my blood because they’re suffering from withdrawal symptoms. no, i’m not boasting.

i shall pull a Nigel Fong (which in this case means “blog about news”) but my topic will be slightly less important. you know, those articles that always go in lifestyle and not the main section.

so these 5 people are thanking their god (you know, the god in charge of fortune.) because they struck 4D and won a couple thou.

not even a million bucks.

to strike 4D is one matter. to announce that gods have been behind this win is another.

because mathematically it doesn’t make sense. it would make sense, say, if this guy was a super religious guy and has never struck 4D before. but he buys it once and he strikes. but it wouldn’t make sense if someone has been buying 4D habitually every single week for the past few years. which, based on my knowledge of TV channel8 serial drama stereotypes, seems to be the case.

let’s say you have 10 dice. you try to make all of them roll 6. eventually you’ll get it. it’s only 6^10=60466176 combinations.

secondly, there have been thousands of other people who haven’t struck 4D. if 1 quarter of singapore buys 4D, ~1 million people will buy 4D.

people strike 4D every week, so i’ll assume that the hoo-hah is because 1) a few people in the same district won, 2) a DEITY gave the number. ok. say there are many altars around singapore. and a few of them have random numbers floating around. people see them and bet on them. so understandably, people from the SAME district will see the SAME altar and bet the SAME numbers. if those people lose, they’ll reckon those numbers weren’t from the gods and were random coincidental arrangements. if they win, they’ll proclaim it’s the god!

premise 1 leads to conclusion 1: gods are always good. i mean, always good when they decide to do something.

but then again, i am confused. if the gods are always good, why do they need offerings to be good?

[hooray. i'm going to draw much flak by wounded polytheistic people who think this is a personal attack on their religion. they'll write to straits times forum and my blog will be famous! whoo!!!! i shall post racist jokes next and rename my blog "ABORTION Gogogo!" or "Transfat! Transfat! We want more!" and i'll need a blogskin with gory fetus images.]

[heh. or maybe the Digital Life column which surfs blogs to find their reactions on well-known national-scale events will find this blog and i'll be quoted! yay!]

–
on a totally unrelated and milder issue, i’ve “sorted out my thoughts” (upon writing this, the HCL cloze passage about tidying your room to sort of your thoughts comes to mind) with regards to Lit RA. if i don’t get in, that’s okay because i’ve learnt a new Bible verse today which says

⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. [1 thessalonians 5:18]

i was looking through my photobucket and saw the eggboyboys i created in August!

i shall make it more serious. which isn’t saying much since those eggboyboys NEVER hatched.

it shall be like pokemon! three eggs will be released periodically to be hatched one week after. you can choose 6 eggs to hatch (max of ONE per “crop”) and post them on your blog (sidebar or special frame preferably). then when someone sees them, they’ll spam your tagboard. if they spam the board [monster's HPx(ATK+DEF)] number of times, they get to kill your eggbigman! (an eggbigman hatches from an eggboyboy, in case you forgot.)

but if the attacked goes to the aggressor’s blog and spam HIS tagboard, he gets to pick one eggbigman too!

the stats will keep changing after the egg hatches. so those eggbigmen who started off with sucky stats might turn out to own!

a Black Type Egg. for inconspicuous people.

a Bad egg. whoops i just punned. for baaaaaaadies.

a Burning Type Egg. for burning people.

these eggs only take 5 days to hatch since it’s the first crop. forgot those lame virtual pets which ONLY allow you to feed them by taking out the banana/meat/etc. adopt eggboyboys for your blogs NOW! (hint hint take ETLLISBWWHIL. also known as Dark Egg. take the other two if you want to be special though.)

now for the EggBoyBoy elements and effectiveness: Black > Bad > Burning >Black. ie, Black type is super effective against Bad type (because, um, baddies fear the dark. whoops, that’s so Harry Potter and Voldemort.), Bad owns Burning (cos… Bad set fires! Yeh), and Burning beats Black! (cos i need to complete the triangle. no actually because fires remove Blackness!)

more types coming up:
-Cyclic (like psychic, only cooler, because Cyclic EggBigMen get to move around in circles. so they do no work.)
-The Official Ownage Type (super effective against all types. all EBMs of this type have 999 in all stats. according to corny myths, they are kept as “pets of the gods” because corny myths must include gods.)
-Deodorant (keeps the EBM smelling pine-fresh! weak to Fart.)
-Fart (stay away, wild EBM! Fart type have intrinsic repel wild EBM effect.)
-Flower (mostly Deodorant type EBMs evolved. weak to Orchid type.)
-Orchid (technically the same as Flower type. except that it’s super effective to Flower.)
-Cloud (ditto)
-Cumulonimbus (ditto)
-Supercalifragisticexpialdocious type. (in battle, these EBMs Confuse their foes because they’re tormented trying to spell the type of their opponents.)

that’s all for the First Generation of EggBoyBoy games. i shall draw a type-matchup chart for convenience! then i’ll use gamemaker to create a game.

lmao!

i downloaded this crap GBA rom called pokemon diamond. no, the fake one.

so there is this guy and he arrives in “electric monster” world. so i walked around in the wild grass.

found this weird electric monster. (textual cutscene):

OSIE appeared!
(options: Fight, Escape, Position)
(Fight: just keep spamming the attacks of my “starter” electric monster, which are Dive and Diverge. wow, 4-letter alliteration.)
OSIE was overthrown!
Caught the e-monster!
(Osie says:) I tell you my phone number!
Got the phone number of Kesi!: 00*-50#8-#8234
Save? Yes No
(Yes)
The phone number of OSIE was saved!
Very good

freaking funny! so in future battles, you can call the number of the electric monsters you defeated and they’ll “arrive” and help you battle. geee.

zzz. after 5 minutes i’ve only battled Kesi or Osie.

then you get random phone calls. i got a phone call by Osie:
“Well, have you had curry?”

and i talk to a random electric monster sprite: “Do you know that the electric monsters have their birthdays? Even the same electric monsters, if their born sequence are not same, they will have different power.” this game is an interactive engrish.com!

then i went some place. a girl said “all electric monsters must report to Mr. (blah) below”. so i went there with my electric monster trailing behind me. and the Mr. (blah) said, “all of you thank you for coming! please elect me as prime minister! if you do, i will build a curry store right here in (blah) town!”

but for a fake game the graphics are pretty good. and there’s even a save function! woah.

i shall download a screen recorder thing and make it into a movie.

in typical self-centered-blogger-who-thinks-everyone-cares format, i shall tell all of my marks. in the order i got them.

sci – 34/40. imba! i beat even kevin the “thankyouthankyou” pro by half a mark! [kg, hwj, diao got RA forms] 68 for overall= 3.2!!!
hist – 19/25. indifferent. (insert lame “indifferent” emoticon here. oh yeah! “:|”) i stopped bothering once mr shahrom said no one failed. then i got this beep mark. 89 overall= 4.0! [jrl only (i think) got RA form]
lit (ZZZZZZ) – waited with um, great tension. then i got 45.5/50. tyty! i would like to thank Generic Air Particle in front of me! and his family! and their families! then i was queueing up for CA marks checking. and i saw that ms hanna didn’t have any, hmm, papers that looked like they could be RA forms! i got 80 overall. sianzzzzzzz. then i got quite sad for the rest of the day, because [foreshadowing]i didn’t get back any good marks thereafter[/foreshadowing] so no one got lit RA today. YH asked ms hanna and she says they’re not decided for lit yet. so *everyone* still has a chance!
geog – stinky! stinko! 19.5/30. man i hate geog. i got 64 overall, which is the one of the most tortuous mark (79 is hereby declared the Killer Mark) [jh (everyone said "finally!"), hwj, yh (who wanted chem), jrl]
math – 33/50. jonathan brought the class to Disbelief at Jon(tm) Mode because he got highest in class 45.5! (after he got lowest for english somemore.) nehmind, i got 70 for overall, which is the mark to go up to someone who got 79 and say “HAHA we both got 3.6″ at.

hope they moderate my 64 to a 65. and hope i improve as expected in Chinese. then i’ll get *undisclosed low GPA*! yay!
–

then we went for the super-big-Nintendo-event MOV rehearsal at HCI, which is the biggest school in singapore. can’t believe i nearly went there (because i went into 2nd round of SMOPS in p6 and they offered everyone a DSA spot. haha.)

the stage is so small. but we did our play and i felt we were pretty good. especially since 2G/H performed theirs and they made so many slip-ups and their pillars were made of paper and they tore and revealed the KNEE of the person hiding in the pillar when the pillars fell. and the english in their script is horrible! like “you are either with us or against us, there is no intermediate.” and “your request is agreed.”(which i think means “i agree to your request”) both sound like badly translated hong kong pirated DVD subtitles. (makes flaming seditious comment about the english proficiency of SE students)

then the coordinator guy wore a turban and had a potbelly and a gigantic dumbledore beard. i shall create him in my new story, as a t**r**i**.

my new story, incidentally, is about a guy called Small Beng. and the book is called The Adventures of Small Beng. see, Small Beng is a name transliterated from chinese. he’s the famous guy everyone names in their zao ju. then in my story, he does really cool adrenalin-pumping and heartstopping feats like…. GOING TO THE WET MARKET WITH HIS MOTHER! or GOING TO SCHOOL! or Feeling Sad cos his Brother broke his Toy Gun. or Talking to Stranger and Getting Kidnapped and Rap… ok, no i won’t say that.

at the end of the story, Small Beng evolves into Big Beng. as Small Beng, he keeps getting bullied, but when he becomes Big Beng, he becomes a bully and tyrant! but he realizes that it’s the end of the book so he doesn’t have time to tyranise.

man. it’s after CTs and they still have such a long day. of useless stuff.

see, i can get the posture part. and maybe even the manners part. but who in the class, unless they are prodigies and contact big shots and have posh dinners, will find dining etc relevant?

i am talking about a $10.00000000 (hehe, a tricky way to make the amount look more biggerer than it already is.) Social Etiquette course that was obviously planned up to avoid us getting another holiday today, which would be apt since some other schools have holidays after exams for marking.

this is what 99.9% of the students attending the $10.000000000 course will do:

1. listen.
2. find it not relevant since not many drinks alcohol at posh restaurants with people other than their own family.
3. talk to friends the whole while.
4. not absorb anything.
5. end up $10.000000000000 poorer.

because, i don’t think we, as secondary school students won’t be able to hold those info in our minds for 10 over years until we become big shots and have to dine properly. so, you say, there’s still the super expensive file with notes on etiquette.

so everytime we go for posh dinners, we have to bring that file along and peek before we do anything. this will make us sociopaths and inept in social skills and people will grow to ostracise us and mock us and we will be arrested for molest cases 3 times a day and the world will end.

–
after the thing i thought it was dismissal. then it turns out i still have a RT meeting. they are rushing out Expressions 2006 in the comp lab. i finished at 6pm and it was raining a bit!

but it was quite funny. ms hanna gave a thick stack of flyers to pek and asked him to cut into 2 since there were 2 printed on a page. so i was watching him. he took the scissors and tried to cut the 50-odd pieces of A4 paper at once. i told him the papers will move around and he will cut into the text. he continued.

so we all know what happened. he threw away those super defective ones and he had to spend money to photocopy new ones. jack!

i’m still addicted to the story. it’s 13 pages long and counting.

in a bid to top The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-time’s interesting numbering of chapters using prime numbers, i have named mine using triangular numbers. which means that my chapter 45 i am on is “only” the 9th chapter. my next story will be based on fibonacci (does it start from 0, 1, 1 or 1, 1, 2?) and the next is tribonacci! (something like 1, 1, 1, 3, 5, 9)

my aims for the post-CTs/holidays:
-finish my story and publish it (on the web for me blog readers only. no sane print publisher will accept this. besides, i just added a MOV reference to it so every other outsider reader will be confused.)

-write another story (using the said fibonacci number-ing of chapters. possibly a “serious” story. which is hard for me because after awhile i don’t get used to the goody-goody characteristic of the “good” guys and i start giving them faults and bad lines and i start making the story metafiction by talking about plot development in the story. etc.)

-get into the Literature Raffles Academy (using shamless advertising of my “abilities” to ms hanna method? i mean the system of teacher choosing student is quite unfair and unfeasible if the teacher doesn’t know your passions. i figure i might merit a recommendation on account of me being in rafflesian times, which is her cca…)

-ponder about subject options. bio sounds quite interesting after today’s briefing and it’s senseless to avoid a subject just because it serves no purpose in future career options / because i suck at it / because it requires intense mugging. history sounds fun though. unlike lower sec it actually talks about OTHER countries! woah. rennaisance, study of history of science, medicine. besides, i can score if it’s still LORMS and argumentative.

-get an ace score in more of Big Brain Academy activities (currently i pwn in the math Compute section, but mere Gold medals in the rest (gold is technically the best but there’s a hidden Platinum medal if you can attain darned high. i have 5 of that! out of 45… which is quite okay since i took 2 days to get those.)

-start psyching myself to believe i’m actually a mugger at heart. face it, constant mugging might not get you popular throughout the year, but you get fame when exam results are out. and you get called a pro! my aim is to reach “pro” status in subjects like english and math (which i used to be an enthusiast of in psch), and, um, “semi-pro” in most of the rest.

-think about what leadership/volunteer role i should take part in OBS. i want to be watch leader, but i figure those have to be super fit and responsible people! so i’ll probably just take a back seat and help out in publicity and media publishing and such. it’s always fun to take a leadership role and is about one of few chances how a non-PB person can become a PSL!

back from the aforementioned free lunch from my NEPHEW’s 1 year old party. whoops, i meant family gathering.

i didn’t play DS Lite whole day because that would be totally wrong, so i played two games of scrabble.

it’s so crap! when i joined people went like “oh, RI come already, stress ah” whatever! i won the first round thanks to a triple word thing that earned 45 points. then everyone asked me to “give chance”. :|

then the second round i got owned because my last ~7 letters were all vowels, and came in last. whee! every other side (comprising aunties, uncles, older cousins, etc) came in pairs then they were like “nevermind lah champion don’t need partner”.

it was quite fun really. the scrabble part.

my oldest sis is coming back 19 nov! whee! (and she reads this blog because i don’t know anyone from Dunedin, NZ who visits this blog more than once)

man u is leading livers 2-0 after 60min! i watched the goals. scholesy scored! and ferdinand scored a damn good one in the box. (people to gloat over on monday: kevin, lumpy)

if there’s training tomorrow, i’m skipping it. you ask us to go for some 3 hour social etiquette thing and expect us to survive 3 more hours of exercise? and that after approx 4 hours of staying around in school.

jon was writing a story and he sent it to me. it was a weird story about this guy having a crush on a japanese girl in wyoming. random! and his grammar and spelling was screwed up.

but he inspired me to start writing something to pass time! so i opened MWord and started writing. zz. no one will appreciate my randomness. i shall finish the story before posting it up. it’s 9 pages long already. about asylums and Esplanade Chee and clones. i can send updates to people who special-request it. which is nobody.

appears that i get to use the comp afterall.

so i got a DS Lite, with pouch. but after factoring in the pouch, i could only get one game. so i chose Big Brain Academy. (groans from the audience.) i mean, obviously when you get a DS you buy DS games. plus, the parents would be pissed if i bought something they consider violent or anything (puh leeze. the only violent nintendo games have poor graphics. or something. no realistic blood.)

but let me tell you what can get you crazy.

imagine. you’re slacking off, waiting for night to come so you can charge your DS Lite for that excruciating 8 hours. then you turn on the TV.

1. eew. this guy in an unknown talkshow is holding a gigantic tarantula and petting it.
2. he holds it out to audience, scaring them, etc etc. to prove what a weirdo he is. i start to think this is like Ripley’s Believe it Or Not, because there was a trailer of this guy putting a few knives down his throat. gah.
3. then the show flashes this thing on the screen: [No. of Bubbles to Beat: 99] which is totally random, right?
4. then the GUY STUFFS THE TARANTULA IN HIS MOUTH. gigantic hairball with legs being moisturised by tongue while tickling it with short pricky hair. ron weasley would wet his pants.
5. then they time him for 30 seconds. the man picks up those bubble solutions thing and starts blowing.
6. after he’s done, he opens his mouth wide-wide and puts a hand to his mouth, then the tarantula crawls out.
7. everyone in the audience applauds with a mix of “wow pro” and “WTF”
8. then another guy with a tarantula steps up to foreground. he does the same stuffing tarantula into mouth thing, except that the legs didn’t go in properly so he had to push them in.
9. then he blows bubbles. zzz.
10. done.
11. some judge uses computer instant replay to count the bubbles by each.
12. first guy wins, like 115 bubbles. second guy also not bad, 107/8 bubbles.
13. show ends. the credits say “Guinness World Records”

wow. there are so many psychopaths in the world. like, Most number of Bubbles Blown while having a Tarantula in your Mouth in 30 Seconds? why do people hanker after these records? i mean, people buy the book, they won’t specifically look out for their names. this is what people do when they buy the book.

1. flip the pages for something interesting.
2. looks at the figures. time/number/percentage.
3. tries to figure out how much that is in real life.
4. finds out that is near impossible, and just continues saying “wow”.

i have a very old copy of World Records. it is interesting the first few pages, but after awhile you just tire of saying “wow, so pro” for every single entry.

singapore set some lame record for speed-dating-cum-salsa-dancing some time ago. if the point of this whole event is just to mark their name down in a few cm square of print in World Records, it’s totally useless. how many of these people actually have aspirations of being a record holder? and totally not “roped in cos my friend forced me to”.